


A Wedding (or Two)

by Koneko713



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, Pretend Wedding, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-26
Updated: 2013-07-26
Packaged: 2017-12-21 10:01:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/898991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Koneko713/pseuds/Koneko713
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fili and Kili decided that they wanted a bonding ceremony.  Dis, Thorin, and Dwalin went along with it, not realizing how serious the boys were about this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Wedding (or Two)

**Author's Note:**

> Written after Tally drew [this](http://08260000.tumblr.com/post/56506120611/fili-and-kili-decided-that-they-wanted-a-bonding) picture of Fili and Kili having a mock wedding ceremony as children. She helped plot out most of the fic as well.  
> I am utterly hopeless with tagging things, so any suggestions of additional tags to add to this are welcome!

“We have met here, under the eyes of Mahal, to…um…whatever it is we’re doing here today.”

Fili and Kili turned identical unimpressed looks on their uncle, and Dis’s boot found his shin.  “Be serious,” she hissed.  Dwalin was chortling quietly at Fili’s side, but he quickly schooled his features into neutrality when the twin stares turned on him.

Thorin waited until he had everyone’s attention again before coughing nervously and continuing.  “A bonding ceremony is usually an irreversible joining, forging two dwarves’ souls into one.  Though I’m sure in this case there will be an exception.”

Dis stomped on his foot this time, and Kili scowled as he reached up to adjust the slowly disintegrating crown of blossoms that graced his head.  Where Fili had gotten _that_ idea Thorin hadn’t a clue.  Young Ori seemed to approve though, going by the pride in his eyes whenever he watched Kili shoving the flowers out of his face.

“It is time for you to make your vows, and for Mahal to hear them,” Thorin said, somehow remaining serious with his best friend choking down laughter beside him.

Fili nodded, small face set as he opened his mouth.  “Kili—“ he began, but Kili talked over him in a rush.

"You're the best big brother in the whole world.  Well, there might be better ones.  But even if I had a better brother I wouldn't love him so much because he wouldn't be you."  He didn’t draw a single breath from the start, heaving a shuddering gasp as he finished.  He looked nervously to his brother, who nodded approval and reached out to take his hand.

"Kili, I've loved you from the first time I held you when you were born, and I promise I'll love you forever.  I want you to be next to me for the rest of my life, and we'll rule Erebor as King and Prince-consort."

“Aww,” Dis and Dwalin cooed together, and Thorin winced, waiting for the reprimand.  It didn’t come, as Kili gazed up at his brother in wonder, and Fili smiled shyly.  As Thorin watched, Kili’s face hardened with determination and he leaned forward to hiss, “Not fair!  You had help to write that!”

“Doesn’t make it untrue,” Fili whispered back, leaning in himself to knock their foreheads together gently.

Thorin cleared his throat.  “You have the rings?” he asked Ori, who blushed but presented the pair of slightly lumpy, misshapen rings.  Fili and Kili had made them themselves, right after they’d got it into their heads that they wanted a bonding ceremony.  Thorin took them, sliding the smaller band onto Kili’s little finger.  “As the rightful King of Erebor,” He slid the other ring onto Fili’s, “I join you as one.”  Kili gave a delighted little wriggle, and Thorin shifted uncomfortably at the way the brothers had eyes only for each other in that moment.  _Why do I get the feeling that the adults are the only ones playing pretend here?_

“You are now bonded in the eyes of Mahal.  You may kiss—“  He broke off, eyes widening.

Fili had gone for a perfectly chaste kiss on the cheek, but Kili scrunched up his face, closed his eyes, and plunged forward to plant a rough, messy kiss straight on his brother’s lips.  Fili reared back in surprise, but recovered quickly to grin and kiss his brother back, a much tamer brush of lips.

Thorin looked helplessly at Dis, who stared back at him with eyes wide over the hands she’d clapped over her mouth.  Even Ori looked startled.  Dwalin had folded over at Fili’s side, wheezing helplessly with laughter.

“The boy’s ready for the honeymoon roll in the hay!” he gasped out, before Dis slapped him so hard it sent him staggering, still paralyzed with mirth.  Fili and Kili had watched with wide eyes, clearly taking in every detail of the exchange.

“I made a cake for the pair of you,” Dis reminded them gently.  “Why don’t you go share it?”

A moment of silent communication between the boys, and Fili opened his arms to his brother.  Kili smiled and stepped up to wrap his arms around Fili’s neck, and the blond attempted to scoop him up into a bridal carry.  They only made it a few steps before Fili stumbled and nearly fell on the smaller dwarfling.  Kili’s crown of flowers flopped into the grass, and with great ceremony he scooped it up and arranged it on Fili’s golden head.  They smiled, knocked heads again, and Fili turned to allow Kili to scramble onto his back.  The pair set off like that, gaily oblivious to Dis’s continued rantings at Dwalin and the big warrior’s laughing apologies.

Thorin was sure he was the only one who noticed the way Fili lay his left hand over Kili’s, and the way both of them looked wonderingly at their rings.  _They’ll grow out of it_ , he told himself.  _They’ll grow up and have real ceremonies with other dwarves, and I hope I’ll be there to officiate those._   For some unexplainable reason, the thought made him sad.

***

After a short party for the six of them (during which Fili, Kili, and Ori all became covered in cake crumbs and sugary icing) the brothers disappeared.  Dis didn’t worry overly much about them; they usually ran off into the woods to play together in the afternoons, and Fili was perfectly capable of looking after his brother.

Thorin and Dwalin sat in the kitchen, reminiscing fondly of their shield-brothers’ bonding ceremonies and comparing it to the one they had just carried out.  Dis shook her head at them and went about her business, though she did lay down the law on ale before dinner.

It was long after dark when Fili and Kili returned, laughing breathlessly and still wearing their misshapen rings.  They had obviously done their best to brush themselves off but the evidence was still there in their clothes and hair.  Even as they crossed the threshold they left a trail of straw fragments behind them.

The pair clearly was trying to sneak up to the bathing room before they were caught.  Dis crept out of the kitchen and followed them as they tip-toed down the hallway, shushing each other as they scampered past the doorway where Dwalin and Thorin sat.  She _saw_ the sigh of relief as they made it to the base of the stairs—and would admit to a little satisfaction at the startled squeals as she gripped them both by their ears.

“And where have you two been?” she asked, raising an eyebrow when neither of them would meet her gaze.

“Nowhere, Mama.”  That was Kili, while Fili shifted uncomfortably.  She turned her disapproving gaze on him, and he cracked easily.

“Dwalin said that…we…” his voice trailed off to a low mumble.  Kili looked betrayed, and Dis gave him a little shake.  “Ow!  Dwalin said that after we were bonded we should go for a roll in the hay.  So we did.”

“You did _what_?”

Her shriek had both her sons cringing away from her and Thorin and Dwalin piling out of the living room.

“We went and played in Bifur’s haystacks,” Kili muttered, eyes wide from her sudden outburst.  “We didn’t mean to make a mess, honest!  It’s my fault for putting hay down Fili’s shirt.  Don’t be mad!”

Dis could hear her brother and Dwalin laughing behind her, and feel her face coloring.  Of course they hadn’t been…well.  Fili was only twenty, he wouldn’t be interested in that for years, let alone Kili.

“Alright you two, go get cleaned up,” she sighed.  They grinned and pattered up the stairs, hand in hand.  “And don’t think this means you’re not in trouble, mister,” she rounded on Dwalin, who held his hands up in surrender.

***

Even after they finished bathing and crawled into bed Fili and Kili could still hear Dis shouting downstairs.  Fili smiled as he listened.  “It sounds like Uncle Thorin’s in trouble too,” he whispered. 

Kili giggled and curled closer to him, wet hair starting to leave a damp patch on Fili’s sleep shirt.  “It’s funny when Mama yells at him.  He looks like a dwarfling in trouble.”

Fili reached up with his left hand to brush Kili’s hair away from his face, and pressed apologetic kisses to his brother’s head when his ring caught in the silky strands.  “Sorry!  I guess we should take these off to sleep,” he muttered, pulling it off and reaching for Kili’s.

The brunet yanked his hand back protectively.  “Don’t!  I wanna wear it forever!”

“You can’t wear it forever, Kee.  You can put it back on tomorrow.”

Kili pouted at him, tears filling his eyes.  “But if I take it off everyone won’t be able to see we’re bonded!”

Fili sighed, pulling his brother close and kissing the top of his head.  “Everyone will know we’re bonded.  We won’t let anyone forget.”

“Fine,” Kili conceded, pulling off his ring and setting it reverently on the bedside table, just touching Fili’s.

They wriggled about for a moment until they were comfortable enough to sleep, Kili curled up with his back to Fili’s chest and Fili’s arms wrapped protectively around him.  Fili had almost dozed off when Kili squirmed against him again, and he could feel his brother’s shoulders hitching with suppressed tears.

“Kee?  Kee, what’s wrong?” he asked in concern, sitting up and trying to turn Kili over to face him.

“I ruined it!” Kili moaned, refusing to be turned over to meet Fili’s eyes.  “You worked so hard to plan the bonding ceremony and everything, and I didn’t get you a present!”

Fili couldn’t help it; a laugh escaped him before he could stop it.  “Don’t worry about that, Kee!  It was still the best bonding ceremony ever.  But when we’re grown up we’ll have the biggest best bonding ceremony there ever was.  You can get me a present then.”

“Promise, Fee?” Kili sniffled.

“I promise.”


End file.
